it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
