I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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