At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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