her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize