i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
