you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
