it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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