Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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