i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
