One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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