ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
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