I am spending my child support on dildos
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
