Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
