I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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