my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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