And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
