you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
