; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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