In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
