apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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