I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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