420 ftw
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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