Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
