Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
