After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize