She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im part way to drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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