I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My vagina is very pro this idea
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
