Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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