I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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