My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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