At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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