his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
