didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
