you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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