your parents love me but you hate me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize