It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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