I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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