Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
