Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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