How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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