I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
