Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
