I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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