You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
