just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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