The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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