she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm both gender and math confused
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
