i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
