my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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