My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
