I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
