don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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