her vagine was all disorganized.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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