I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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