This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
