just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
