now i know why i became what i already was.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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