I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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