I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
