I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
