Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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