I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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