my phone needs a breathalizer
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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